On Spending The Weekend With Miley

Thanks to Rembert Browne, Taran Killam, and the relentless nature of the internet for forcing me to finally, FINALLY, catch up on all the DRAMA in Miley Cyrus’s life.

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I shall begin by stating the most obvious: There has been quite a bit of talk about Miley Cyrus lately. Even more obvious: Miley Cyrus, f/k/a Hannah Montana, is an ex-Disney Channel star who, perhaps knowing she will never live up to the legacy of the ever-superior Britney Spears, is trying to do the next best thing: create her own identity! She ditched the training bra for a weird-leotardy-contraption, replaced her busted grill with offensively large veneers, and got a super tasteless-but-statement-makey haircut.

I think she looks like a cartoon character. But no matter. See, Miley fancies herself all grown up now, and she doesn’t think you get to have a say in her Trying to Become Who I Am journey. I can relate to that! It’s totes normal to want to change your public image from, like, crybaby/pathological liar/baseball team groupie with a meathead boyfriend to, for example…

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