Lists of Things: Underrated Stuff

To prove I have nice things to say about the world, and to complement last week’s Negative Nancy Post, I present its companion: Underrated Stuff. In almost particular order, below please find a list of things I love / like a lot / think don’t get enough love from the rest of you:

1. Driving:

Being from/in Los Angeles, I hear a lot about how much people hate driving. “So much traffic,” “Ugh, who’s DD tonight?” and “All the way to Santa Monica?!” are familiar phrases.  I’m no stranger to sitting in traffic. Yes, it theoretically and sometimes actually sucks.

Cars are f’sho dangerous. There are bad, scary, drunk, texting, female, asian crackheads ready to run you over any moment if you don’t click it or ticket and check your blind spots on the regular. But driving is like the emotional equivalent of going to the moon and back and maybe to therapy afterwards.

Also included on the list of things driving makes me feel: independent, super bomb at parallel parking, and nostalgic for high school, when I used to blast The Chronic on well lit suburban streets then pull over to drink Mickey’s from a paper bag, maybe make out a little, or just hang out in parking lots when no one’s parents were out of town.

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(like this, but, you know… real.)

Oh, and one last thing: if you’ve never seen the view from the top of Mulholland Drive on a (relatively) clear night in Los Angeles, you haven’t lived.

2. Cheap Beer

image   <– drink of choice.

Does the “kinda like weird water” taste of a cold Coors Light make anyone else nostalgic for days of old, when Pong ruled over all the land and chugging was “punishment” in games we chose to play with the intention of getting super duper schwasted?

3. Fluff n’ Fold:

I go to pretty great lengths (two weeks with the same towel) to avoid doing laundry.  But Fluff n’ Fold has changed my life.  I’ve almost forgotten the difference between whites and colors and I can’t live without having my socks paired and my underwear folded like it matters.

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I mean, let’s be real: few things in life are better than freshly washed, folded, wrinkle-free clothes/sheets/towels.  And while we’re at it let’s be double real: does anyone actually enjoy spending multiple hours of precious weekend time doing laundry then forgetting about it and leaving it in the wash to acquire mold before remembering to put it in the dryer and then forgetting about it again and leaving it in the dryer to acquire wrinkles? If you do, you are loco, and have my official permission to stop reading now. For the rest of you, try it. Sock pairage. Underwear foldage. Optional fabric softenage. Clean clothes have never felt so good.

4. Escalators / Walkalators / Horizontalators / Travelators 

Yes, those are all real words. I’m talking about those flat escalator-like moving walkways at the airport that zoom you up to power-walk speed without requiring power-walk intensity.

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^^ way of the future ^^

I mean, what’s more satisfying than looking to your left (or right) from a walkalator and maybe exclaiming “Who wants to race?” at the peasants who decided to use regular floor, which I did once in the Houston airport. Then I bumped into someone, which was unfortunate because Karma’s a beezy and I missed my flight. Flight or no flight, I got to use the word “horizontalator” today.

5. Picking One’s Nose

Everybody does it. We all secretly love it. Picking of the nose is one of those precious by yo’self activities in which you can indulge only in the comfort of your own home/car/closet/secret corner where no one’s looking.
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Admit it: you’ve stood in front of your bathroom mirror and stuck your finger wayyyy up one nostril. Like swatting the fly that wouldn’t stop buzzing, you pulled out a tickling, bothersome booger, and began to breathe easy once again. You held it on your fingernail and examined it, then (hopefully) washed your hands. Down the drain it went. Maybe you got attached to it for a second – it did look kinda cool, after all – but you let it go, knowing there would be more boogers and satisfying nose-pick seshes in your future. And it was awesome, amirite?!

6. Mary-Kate & Ashley’s Everything Party

Remember when MK&A ate food / were actresses? Long before the days of The Row and Elizabeth & James, the petite power duo were teaching me all about how to throw a good party.  And as a W.A.S.P., I was raised with a profound appreciation for a hostessing job well done. Mostly, I learned that the key to throwing a good party is to throw lots of them: Fashion PartyPizza PartySleepover PartyBallet Party, any kind of party!  Cause nothing beats great times with good friends, or good times with great friends.
7. Rollerblades

Confession: I suck at skateboarding, snowboarding, biking, and all other socially acceptable forms of small-wheeled ways to get around. But I grew up on rollerblades. I can even do sweet tricks on them. Remember roller rinks? And parties at roller rinks? And playing limbo on rollerblades at parties at roller rinks? Rollerblades just might be the most underrated mode of transportation to ever exist in the universe. Hyperbolic statement? I think not.

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About to take over mah hood.

Perks of rollerblading include: 1. Sweet knee and elbow pads 2. Looking like you’re in Hackers 3. Being super 90s 4. Practicing for the day when you’ll have to take your children ice skating during the Holiday Season 5. Toning of the buttocks.

8. Unemployment

More like FUNEMPLOYMENT. Also known as: Time to Chill All Day!  Yeah, sure, there’s pressure to find a job, but you can only spend so many hours a day looking for a job before you get to go do things like sell your clothes on eBay and go to the gym and wear real pants and shower often enough to still feel good about yourself.

And yeah, sure, being under pressure to find a job can be demoralizing, but it’s nothing like being under pressure from the job you’ve found. Plus, it’s the last time in my life that I’ll be able to tell people they really need to be more sensitive to where I am in my life right now. Cause hey, be respectful to whee I am in my life right now. After all, I’m in my twenties!

9. Toaster Ovens

Dear Anyone Who Doesn’t Have a Toaster Oven, have you ever even heard of cheese on bread? Do you even know what you’re missing? Assuming you’re still reading, the answer must be no, because otherwise you would inevitably have rushed out to buy one before finishing this sentence. In conclusion: Best. Drunk. Snack. Ever. Best anytime snack ever, actually.

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Love, Cheese-Bread-Fiend
10. Studio 60 on The Sunset Strip // NBC

Literally though: Under. Rated.

The End.

*Originally posted on/re-blawged from mynameisgrazy.tumblr.com*

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